Would you fight Mike Tyson for a million dollars?

11,712 Views | 110 Replies | Last: 10 days ago by Know Your Enemy
Deltron3030
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Just wondering...

I was asked that this morning. I said no.
Anonymous Source
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S
Tax free? How long would it have to last? Is there a minimum before I can collect?

Gig 'Em
RATO
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Hell yes I would.
Hercules Rockerfeller
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yes, if the one million is on top of related medical expenses
DamnGood'88
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How hard would I have to try?

If I could take a dive before he leaves his corner, sure.

But if there were actually a chance of him landing any punch whatsoever, I think I'd probably pass.

Anybody (that hasn't been a heavyweight contender) that thinks he could take a punch from a heavyweight contender is lying or very, very stupid.
aggiebylegacy
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Yeth.
dedfischer
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yes, it would only take one solid punch to knock me out, and then i would wake up a little sore and have a million dollars.
Big12Ag
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Mike Tyson punches you and you are just a "little sore"? You wouldnt even know how to feed yourself much less spend a million dollars.
Deltron3030
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The mil would be tax-free. One round. A million dollars. And you can't run. Just straight-up boxing (to the best of your ability).

Medical expenses would probably be around 20 thousand. If it got real bad, plastic surgery is a little more. But the rest is yours.

I still wouldn't do it. That ******* is a killer.
BaitShack
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AG
I'd beat his ass.



Michael Tyson
Served as Vice Chairman of Texas Commerce Bank from 1987 to 1995, where his responsibilities included the management of trust departments throughout Texas. Also served as a member of the Senior Management Committee and Board of Directors, and as Chairman of Texas Commerce Investment Management Company. From 1979 to 1987, Vice President, Finance and Administration, CFO for the Houston Chronicle Publishing Company. Prior to his tenure with The Chronicle, Executive Vice President with Texas Commerce Bank.
Burdizzo
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AG
I truly believe that one well placed punch from Mike Tyson might kill me. The guys he faces in the ring have been conditioned to take punches, and it almost kills them.

No frggin' way.
Stupe
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S
I survived a 20' fall from a tree leading with my head and survived. I could survive a punch from Tyson.



Yes.
42
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Yes, because then I would have the money to pay for a Hot private nurse to give me sponge baths afterwards.
Cubby '96
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I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Artist: Jazzy Jeff And The Fresh Prince
Album: And In This Corner...
Song: I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson

(W. Smith/J. Townes/P. Harris)

I was in Jeff's crib one night about 8 (yup)
And we were watchin' a couple of Mike Tyson fight tapes
Jeff was like Man you see how hard Mike's punchin'
C'mon Jeff the other guy was just lungin'

Left right left right another K.O. (ooh)
If that was me I'da been okay though
The very next day I gave Russel a ring
With J.L. and Leore we all called Don King

I said yeah Don I gotta problem (Tell 'im Prince)
Yeah what's up whatchoo sayin' you tryin' a solve em
Forget the small talk let's get to the nitty gritty
Me an' Mike two months Trump Atlantic City

Yo you got this you gonna bus' dude up
Yeah you can be my trainer Word up
I'm rough like a freight train smooth like icin'
Yo Jeff straight up I think I can beat Mike Tyson

There was a press conference to see what training I was doin'
Before then I had never heard reporters booin'
Cameras flashin' I was in the middle
I didn't wanna look dumb so I exaggerated a little

I said uh I been training twenty hours a day
Liftin' big ol' cars and big bales of hay (I seen you do it)
And I jog ten thousand miles every mornin'
Thinkin' about Mike in my moment of glory (tell 'em more)

I drink water twenty gallons a pop
And I can throw a Volkswagon a whole half block (he can do it too)
And four million situps in a minute
I ain't lyin' I did it!

The general public thought I was a fool
I was gettin' dissed but I I guess that was cool
Though you know gettin' dissed is never good
But I was even gettin' dissed in my own neighborhood

I was at the corner at the top of my block
There was a couple of people standin outside the barber shop
It was Lawrence my barber and Franny
He yelled out Hey Prince you can win

I said really and I stopped to chat
You can beat him man if you hit 'im wit a bat (hah ha ha)
You gonna get wrecked
but can I have yo shoes when you break your neck?

Everybody was laughin' out loud
I thought at least my own grandma would be proud
I went to her house and snuck in and surprise her
I heard her on the phone A thousand bucks on Tyson

It's fight day and man am I hyped
Woah I can't wait to see Mike
Boy I'm hyped ready to do my thing
Trump Castle Casino (ding ding)


I came out hustlin' slidin' and a grabbin'
Slippin' and dippin' hustlin' and jabbin' (yeah)
For a second I looked good out there
But then Mike brought to reality my worst nightmare

One punch that's all it took (ooooh)
He hit me in my ribs and my insides shook
Now how can I say this and be a little discreet
Let's just say that my bowels released

I called time out and went back to my corner
Said to my coach ain' no way I goin'
The hell back out there man you can forget it
My body's like a punchin' bag and Mike is gonna hit it

They tried to make me go meet my doom
But I ____er punched my coach and hauled to my dressin' room
The next day the headline in the town
Fresh Prince breaks camp Tyson wins first round

Some fool asked why I ran away
I said a good run is better than a bad stand any day
My career is over as far as fightin'
But I don't know what made me think I could beat Mike Tyson
Deltron3030
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@ dedfischer: ROTFLMAO!!! A little sore...
Guitarsoup
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AG
I would take his ear-biting, child-eating butt down.
DamnGood'88
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Deltron3030
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Attention! Now everybody take a good, long, hard look at the picture DamnGood just posted up. Keep looking. Now would anyone in their right mind wanna go one on one with this dude? Look at him! That guy is a monster.

*Deltron shudders*

[This message has been edited by Deltron3030 (edited 2/12/2003 2:22p).]
42
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^
l
l
l
Is Mike hitting that guy or moving in for a kiss?
Deltron3030
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Probably the Kiss of Death...

I mean, look at him! I even think he's immune to a Roshambo...
CTP93
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AG
I'd do it. I'd do it for less than a million.

Big12Ag
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I actually got into a fight with him at the Las Vegas airport and I didn't get paid jack crap. We were both waiting to play the same Wheel of Fortune slot machine, except I was in front of him before he tried to cut. I said "hey, no cutting"...next thing I know he is slapping me and pulling my hair. I karate chopped his throat and some elderly tourists broke it up. He ended up signing my fanny pack.
Deltron3030
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LMAO @ Big12Ag!!!
ChargerAg
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what do you keep in your fanny pack?
Big12Ag
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Magic, The Gathering cards and WetNaps.
dedfischer
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^
l
l
l
hey, that's the POTD.

no, seriously, it wouldn't kill you. just stay down when he put you to the mat. i wouldn't fight him bare fisted, but with gloves you'll get over it pretty quick. i got my head kicked in one time by some cowboy with boots on and i guarantee you Tyson wouldn't hurt any worse than that. i recovered in about 2 or 3 minutes. did nobody see Butterbean fight Johnny Knoxville?
aggiebylegacy
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My humor is wasted on you heathens...
FromACutie
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I thought the rules were 3 rounds and they put you through a boxing course/training.
ham98
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Can you cheat?
ChargerAg
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groin kick him
wh99p
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Yeah...I'd tuck my chin down as far as humanly possible, place both hands over my ears, duck down, and after he took his first swing I would (voluntarily or involuntarily) fall down and collect my $1 million.
FromACutie
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...maybe there are conditions...

...like you must LAST 3 rounds.
schmellba99
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AG
hell, the last couple of fights Tyson was in he only threw about 10 punches each fight...hell yeah i'd jump in and give it all i got. would i win? odds are about 1 in a million, but i'd damn sure last long enough to get paid.
shiner2001
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All you have to do is push "select" between rounds and your trainer will give you some of your life back. at least that's how it worked for Little Mac. I'd rather fight Soda Popinski or the Sandman, however. Damn Mike Tyson's Punchout was fun. I wonder if you could just put in the code and fight him over and over for a million bucks a pop...
kaiguy
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AG
Count me in.
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