Cringiest wedding things you've seen - Page 5

The Fife

11:13a, 4/16/24

In reply to swimmerbabe11

swimmerbabe11 said:
the photographer put this in the album.

Username checks out!

maroon barchetta

11:15a, 4/16/24

In reply to The Fife

Because she looks like a mermaid?

The Fife

1:44p, 4/16/24

Or ya know, the babe part

maroon barchetta

1:54p, 4/16/24

In reply to The Fife

Oh. Yeah. I thought it was the dress maybe.

Claude!

2:35p, 4/16/24

In reply to The Fife

The Fife said:
swimmerbabe11 said:
the photographer put this in the album.
Username checks out!

Wait, it's supposed to be Swimmer Babe? I thought it was Swimmerb Abe because she liked swimming and Abe Lincoln, but had trouble with spelling.

I learn something new everyb day.

Drawkcab

12:48p, 4/18/24

Can't find the thread I made at the time but I just walked up on a bridal party taking nude photos at a state park once.

Carlo4

1:42p, 4/18/24

In reply to AustinCountyAg

AustinCountyAg said:
Cringy at my wedding. Has the maid of honor deliver an almost ten minute speech full of pauses and stories nobody got. Very damn awkward standing there having to go along just praying she'd stfu and end it.

which leads me to my next point. The speeches and toasts need to be under 2 min top. Nobody gives a **** about old stories, inside jokes, etc. Say congrats, I'm happy for you and move along.

My father in law gave a speech at our wedding that was all about tips for handling my wife. This is her upset face (had a blow up picture from when she was 6) and this is how to make sure she's happy, etc. Even gave me a wife whistle to blow when I need her to cook and clean haha. We saw the upset face live.

That man is a born showman… and the tips work!

Hehateme1

12:06a, 4/20/24

In reply to Drawkcab

Drawkcab said:
Can't find the thread I made at the time but I just walked up on a bridal party taking nude photos at a state park once.

https://texags.com/forums/12/topics/3059745/replies/54947600

BassCowboy33

3:54a, 4/20/24

I know a guy who had a groomswoman (my computer doesn't even recognize this as a legit word) and chose NOT to have his sisters in his wedding. It was very confusing.

I have a cousin who got married in an outdoor wedding… in DFW… in August… at 3pm. The temp was about 108 outside, and the ceremony took about an hour. Everyone was drenched, people passed out, and the water booths ran out of water before the ceremony even started.

Also, I've been to two dry weddings, and they were both terrible.

I went to a family friend's wedding as a kid. The ceremony lasted for nearly two hours in what can only be described as the most boring display of worship music in history. After every other line, they'd stop, and someone would sing a hymn. and I mean after EVERY line. The wedding party then took forever to show up to the reception. Most people had left by the time they showed up, including our family.

ThatOneGuy

6:10a, 4/21/24

I worked at a wedding venue one summer. The local high school baseball coach was getting married and was super drunk early into the reception and peed on the lawn of the outdoor reception with everyone looking on. It wasn't even dark yet.

Milwaukees Best Light

9:24a, 4/21/24

In reply to Tobias Funke

Tobias Funke said:
I'm getting married in less than 2 weeks and I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread.

My worst two:

1) A younger friend of my mom's got married when I was in high school and for some reason I was invited. Bride and groom were in their 30s and a potent combination of very social awkward and very religious. Neither had ever kissed a member of the opposite sex in their entire lives.
I'll never forget how awkward and clumsy the first kiss was after they were pronounced man and wife.
.

So, she had a high school aged kid, but had never kissed a guy before? How do I sign up for that kind of relationship?

texAZtea

6:39p, 4/21/24

During my reception, my FIL took the mic from the MC so he could bring a bagpiper in to play a salute to the troops.

Neither my wife nor I have served in the military.

Later he told me it was fine because the wedding was more about him and my MIL introducing us to society than the actual occasion of our marriage. "You're not catholic so you wouldn't understand. "

swimmerbabe11

7:25p, 4/21/24

In reply to texAZtea

you're not Catholic so wouldn't understand a salute to the troops?

texAZtea

7:29p, 4/21/24

In reply to swimmerbabe11

swimmerbabe11 said:
you're not Catholic so wouldn't understand a salute to the troops?

I'm not catholic so I wouldn't understand that a wedding is actually about the bride's parents, in his words. My catholic friends agree with me that he is full of sht.

DannyDuberstein

8:28p, 4/21/24

Not catholic so wouldn't understand fil handling up on the ring bearer either.

wangus12

8:40a, 4/22/24

In reply to BassCowboy33

Quote:
I have a cousin who got married in an outdoor wedding… in DFW… in August… at 3pm. The temp was about 108 outside, and the ceremony took about an hour. Everyone was drenched, people passed out, and the water booths ran out of water before the ceremony even started.

My wife and I got married in late June. The day before the wedding had been a pretty nice day overall and not really all that hot. Very manageable outside and the venue was on top of a hill that caught a lot of wind which also helped keep it cooler.

Day of the wedding, the temps soared and by the time of the wedding it was very, very hot. I told our minister that we needed to cut out all the extra stuff and make it as simple and quick as possible due to the heat. He knocked it out in 10 minutes and we were all back in the shade/AC and drinking cold beer. Everybody was happy.

agracer

8:38a, 4/23/24

Went to a wedding this weekend. Cousin's daughter got married and it was a blast. His sister planned the whole thing and did an awesome job (she is an event planner and used to help MLB with the All-Star games).

Nice Catholic church ceremony at a beautiful old church, (priest had a great 5-minute homily), good live band, good food. All 4 of our boys were in town so we got some good pictures of my family all dressed up, which made the wife supper happy. Danced the night away with the wife (we even took lessons leading up to the wedding). They had food stations for prime rib, potatoes, vegetables (main course) and side stations for shrimp and grits and gumbo (funny, Sister/event planner, who is from New Orleans, 'corrected' the chef's recipes for those two and they were really good). Served beignets at the end of the whole thing before the bride and groom left. Event space was on the 12th floor of an historic old hotel downtown.

Cringiest thing was the groom's dad got on stage with the band and played air guitar, but honestly he got a lot of cheers and laughs so it was not that cringe.

Probably the best wedding I've ever been too.

Burdizzo

9:24a, 4/23/24

In reply to agracer

My sister-in-law got on stage and did karaoke to Ice Ice Baby at her wedding.

StinkyPinky

2:36p, 4/23/24

In reply to agracer

agracer said:
Went to a wedding this weekend. Cousin's daughter got married and it was a blast. His sister planned the whole thing and did an awesome job (she is an event planner and used to help MLB with the All-Star games).

Nice Catholic church ceremony at a beautiful old church, (priest had a great 5-minute homily), good live band, good food. All 4 of our boys were in town so we got some good pictures of my family all dressed up, which made the wife supper happy. Danced the night away with the wife (we even took lessons leading up to the wedding). They had food stations for prime rib, potatoes, vegetables (main course) and side stations for shrimp and grits and gumbo (funny, Sister/event planner, who is from New Orleans, 'corrected' the chef's recipes for those two and they were really good). Served beignets at the end of the whole thing before the bride and groom left. Event space was on the 12th floor of an historic old hotel downtown.

Cringiest thing was the groom's dad got on stage with the band and played air guitar, but honestly he got a lot of cheers and laughs so it was not that cringe.

Probably the best wedding I've ever been too.

Congrats on the sex!

BassCowboy33

9:33p, 4/23/24

In reply to Burdizzo

Burdizzo said:
My sister-in-law got on stage and did karaoke to Ice Ice Baby at her wedding.

This actually sounds legit.

atm0812

9:31a, 4/25/24

My two best stories:

1) The bride and groom were both high school friends of mine, but got married at 20 years old. So there was no alcohol. Toasts were done with sparkling grape juice. She was NOT pregnant.
During the dinner they played a video in which the bride & groom talked about the value of therapy and how it had helped the groom overcome depression. Just a total buzzkill.

2) Wedding was of family friends from church. The groom is white, bride is mixed race, half white, half black.

Maid of honor (she's very white) gives her speech and includes a story about how she and the bride got caught trying to sneak into a bar underage in college. My wife and I look at each other, curious to see where the story is going.

Maid of honor proceeds to share that the bouncer was black, and that she told the bouncer "you know, my daddy would've owned your ass", and how the bride had smoothed things out as an example of their friendship and always having her back.

The wedding was in Tennessee, but it still didn't go over well with the locals.

maroon barchetta

9:33a, 4/25/24

In reply to atm0812

Wow to both of those.

Burdizzo

9:40a, 4/25/24

In reply to BassCowboy33

BassCowboy33 said:
Burdizzo said:
My sister-in-law got on stage and did karaoke to Ice Ice Baby at her wedding.

This actually sounds legit.

Sister-in-law is cool, and it was very entertaining. Just unexpected.

Gilligan

10:31a, 4/25/24

I can't post the one I want to on this forum. I have said too much already.

I have seen a groomsman pass out and take out a bunch of lighted candles that started a fire and the Church had to be evacuated.

That was fun...

Tobias Funke

10:40a, 4/25/24

In reply to Milwaukees Best Light

Milwaukees Best Light said:
Tobias Funke said:
I'm getting married in less than 2 weeks and I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread.

My worst two:

1) A younger friend of my mom's got married when I was in high school and for some reason I was invited. Bride and groom were in their 30s and a potent combination of very social awkward and very religious. Neither had ever kissed a member of the opposite sex in their entire lives.
I'll never forget how awkward and clumsy the first kiss was after they were pronounced man and wife.
.

So, she had a high school aged kid, but had never kissed a guy before? How do I sign up for that kind of relationship?

Read again

Milwaukees Best Light

10:55a, 4/25/24

Damn. I read 'friend's mom'.

TRD-Ferguson

10:58a, 4/25/24

Was best man at friend's wedding. Bachelor party was in Matamoros. Bride to be said if we went there she would cancel wedding. We made sure groom did nothing but drink.

Next morning me, the groom and groomsmen are all wasted at our motel. Bride to be storms into the room and says wedding is off. Groom is about to cry. Wedding is in the evening so I spend the rest of day mending fences.

Get to wedding and battle lines have been drawn. Definite groom's side and definite bride's side and neither side speaks to the other. You could cut the tension with a knife. Groom's grandmother refuses to be in any photos with bride. Says some nasty things about bride to her face.

Reception held at some wealthy friend of bride's huge home. Me and the groomsmen get there and are told we are not welcome. We decide it's not worth a fight. We discover where the booze and food are from one of the servants. We also discover there is a garage apartment. We requisition a case of champagne, a few bottles of liquor and several trays of food. Lock ourselves in the garage apartment for the night and have a helluva party.

Almost 50 years later the couple remain married.

Drawkcab

12:18p, 4/25/24

In reply to Gilligan

Gilligan said:
I can't post the one I want to on this forum. I have said too much already.

I have seen a groomsman pass out and take out a bunch of lighted candles that started a fire and the Church had to be evacuated.

That was fun...

The other groomsmen couldn't put the fire out before it got out of hand? What did they think their job at the wedding was exactly?

BBRex

1:00p, 4/25/24

In reply to Drawkcab

Drawkcab said:
Ghost of Bisbee said:
Also does anyone else look back on your wedding video, see the garter grab n toss, and also think "why"

To answer this question, no. Nobody looks back on their wedding videos for any reason unless it's one of the big anniversaries ending in 0, and even then they don't watch long enough to see the garter toss.

No, primarily because my wedding was recorded on micro VHS tape. Nobody's watching that without special equipment.

one MEEN Ag

1:49p, 4/25/24

In reply to BBRex

As a side note, for my mom's birthdays we paid to get all of their old videos from the 80s and 90s made into a digital library that they could watch from their phone. Professionally done and the guy had all types of recording capabilities.

Dad was tasked with 'curating' the old videos and selecting a first round of videos that if the guy goofed or went out of business they wouldn't be complete losses.

Still the best gift we gave my mom. I would recommend it. If you're in the Houston area I can send you that guys' info.

Scooley01

2:10p, 4/25/24

Two that come to mind:

Went to a baby shower for a coworker of my spouse - outdoors in summer in Dallas. There was booze and pizza, so it was actually a good time even though I didn't know anyone. Mother-to-be and her boyfriend are not married, but have been together since HS so I just figured they weren't interested in marriage. About an hour in, the mother-to-be came out and announced that SURPRISE: we were also at her wedding! Her parents and the groom spent a few minutes moving the picnic tables and folding chairs around the yard to make a makeshift ceremony site, and they proceeded to get married. Very nice people, but such a weird situation.
Cousin's wedding. Ceremony was great, venue was really cool, food was good. At the reception, bride's father gets up to do a toast and talks for, no joke, 30 full minutes. He is clearly intoxicated, so the speech is a lot of rambling about how much he loves his little girl and is sad that she's growing up, pretty normal stuff except the rambling. We felt like he might wrap up at any moment, so we were all reluctant to finish our drinks so we'd have something to toast with. At one point, he makes a comment about how he would hurt the groom if he ever makes the bride cry, the crowd chuckles as it comes off as a joke. Dad then doubles down and talks for several minutes about how it's NOT at all a joke, and he will literally beat the **** out of the groom. The threats are extremely specific and everyone, including the bride, groom, and rest of the family are extremely uncomfortable. Someone eventually takes the mic away from Dad and we are finally able to finish our drinks, eat cake, and dance. Bride was fuming. It was weird because everyone in the family loves the groom, he's a very nice guy and there have never been any hints that their relationship is anything other than happy.

SportySpice

3:36p, 4/25/24

In reply to one MEEN Ag

I'd love to get his contact info!

13 - 0

8:48a, 4/26/24

A buddy of mine knocked up a chick in HS. He was forced to marry her in a Shotgun Wedding. We were 17-18 years old.
So, we all showed up at the VFW for the ceremony. We were all bummed out that this was happening, as was my buddy..... he didn't want to get married either.
While milling around waiting for the ceremony to start, we found the keg behind the bar and started drinking (my buddy included). by the time of the ceremony, we were all sloshed and belligerent. As the night, went on the Tias and Tios got drunk and belligerent also and it turned into a sh* show.
I'm not proud of it, but we were 17 year old kids and this was the first "real life" event that had definite consequences.
PS. The marriage didn't last a year, but he kept his obligation and supported his daughter. She turned out to be a fine young lady.

one MEEN Ag

9:17a, 4/26/24

In reply to SportySpice

SportySpice said:
I'd love to get his contact info!

I just looked it up. We used Houston Scanning. www.houstonscanning.com

Great results! The owner was very patient with my retired electrical engineer father who waffled for a long time on even risking these videos being away from the house, then wanted to know about the owner's set up, and be reassured that nothing was going to get destroyed.

BBRex

10:13a, 4/26/24

In reply to one MEEN Ag

Thanks for posting that! I will probably reach out to them for another reason. My father died earlier this month, and I just got a box filled with slide trays. The slides are from the mid-'60s to the mid-'70s, including from his time in Vietnam. Here's one of the pics:

(Edit: since it is off topic, I moved the helicopter pic to the Airplane Pron thread.)

My bride and I were dirt poor when we got married. We paid for pretty much all of the wedding ourselves, and we relied on family members for the photography and video. My sister, who had just had her baby, ran the camcorder up in the empty church choir loft. The video looks like it was taken a mile away, and through at least half of the video, you can hear the sounds of her nursing her daughter. We're not in any hurry to watch it again.