My boy (6) is showing pretty clear signs of ADHD. I was diagnosed late in life and his behavior mirrors mine when I was young. As a dad, it is heartbreaking knowing what he is capable of while also knowing the struggles he will face. My wife and I are looking into testing, but I have reservations. Is he too young? If diagnosed, what's the best plan? OT? CBT? I'd like to avoid meds if possible. I would appreciate any guidance from anyone who has gone through (or is currently going through) this with one of theirs.
ADHD in Children
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Last: 20 days ago by KidDoc
No help to offer, but I'm ADHD and almost certain that both my kids are as well 11 and 9 yo). So far we have decided not to test and put an official label on it, but I don't know what the right answer is. I look forward to seeing where this thread goes.
If it isn't severe, most kids I believe can learn how to modify their behaviors and habits to minimize the problems it causes and leverage the advantages it provides, such as hyper focus on interesting or compelling things.
Our son is also 6 year old and we are dealing with this now as well. He is a summer boy who just had his birthday and we are having him redo kinder to allow him to mature a bit more. He is a smart kid that just has an insane amount of energy that needs to used up daily or he gets in trouble.
He will be tested this summer hopefully through our local school district. He isn't severe enough right now to consider meds in our opinion but we have found some professionals wouldn't start testing until the age of 6 which i think is a good idea.
Some of the pediatricians feel comfortable with the school testing some want the full neuropysch testing which is insanely expensive. ($3K-$4K).
We keep him active in sports, swimming and jiu jitsu and that really does make a big difference. He has the ability to really focus on things he likes to do (lego's and perler beads).
I am doing Kumon books with him this summer nightly and it is a hard challenge to keep him on task. But we try to keep it to 20-25 minutes tops and have a reward system in place to move more quickly through the assignments.
Whatever you decide to do I wish you luck. I am always amazed when i hang out with kids his age that just sit quietly and work on projects without any prompting. I was also amazed to learn about how many kids his age in his kinder class were already being medicated.
He will be tested this summer hopefully through our local school district. He isn't severe enough right now to consider meds in our opinion but we have found some professionals wouldn't start testing until the age of 6 which i think is a good idea.
Some of the pediatricians feel comfortable with the school testing some want the full neuropysch testing which is insanely expensive. ($3K-$4K).
We keep him active in sports, swimming and jiu jitsu and that really does make a big difference. He has the ability to really focus on things he likes to do (lego's and perler beads).
I am doing Kumon books with him this summer nightly and it is a hard challenge to keep him on task. But we try to keep it to 20-25 minutes tops and have a reward system in place to move more quickly through the assignments.
Whatever you decide to do I wish you luck. I am always amazed when i hang out with kids his age that just sit quietly and work on projects without any prompting. I was also amazed to learn about how many kids his age in his kinder class were already being medicated.
Same. He can walk through a 12+ lego set by himself or figure out complex puzzles, but if you ask him to spell dog he will balk.aggiederelict said:
We keep him active in sports, swimming and jiu jitsu and that really does make a big difference. He has the ability to really focus on things he likes to do (lego's and perler beads).
Thanks for the response.
Yeah. I think our boys arent ready for the education system of today. I think it's geared towards making your little kid sit in a desk and concentrate on things they have absolutely no interest in. Our boys in particular. They want to play, get dirty, fight, etc.
My boy is 4. He's a spitting image of me and how I was as a kid. Hes up at 6am and he is 90 to nothing all day, no nap, never stops moving, never stops making noise/talking/singing. We just put him down at 8:30z he's up their singing in bed. He'll stay up with me till midnight if I let him and never slow down. It's remarkable. He's a June baby, so we're keeping him in daycare 1 more year before we start kindergarten. If you try to get him to practice his letters he trails off.. He started Jui Jitsu tonight. It's fighting/wrestling and he's super attentive, did everything the coach said. The same with soccer this spring. He was the best listener on the field. Coach asked the team to do something and my kid was the first to go do it. He's incredibly smart, but he's smart about things he cares about. So we find things he cares about. Seriously... Our education system is failing our boys. As soon as he gets to school one of his teachers is going to recommend testing, medication. It ain't happening. We're considering co-ops or home school or something.
I recommend the book Boys Adrift
I have adhd that was diagnosed as an adult. The way I grew up, my parents didn't know what that was. I changed careers to something that better suited me and I won't take meds. I was fine in school and always did well bc it was something my parents made me prioritize. The first hint I was struggling and my mom had me a tutor. I excel at everything I want to excel at work or otherwise. If I'm not interest I can't hold my attention on it for ***** It's a struggle, but it is what it is. I forced myself thru all of it and turned out fine.
My boy is 4. He's a spitting image of me and how I was as a kid. Hes up at 6am and he is 90 to nothing all day, no nap, never stops moving, never stops making noise/talking/singing. We just put him down at 8:30z he's up their singing in bed. He'll stay up with me till midnight if I let him and never slow down. It's remarkable. He's a June baby, so we're keeping him in daycare 1 more year before we start kindergarten. If you try to get him to practice his letters he trails off.. He started Jui Jitsu tonight. It's fighting/wrestling and he's super attentive, did everything the coach said. The same with soccer this spring. He was the best listener on the field. Coach asked the team to do something and my kid was the first to go do it. He's incredibly smart, but he's smart about things he cares about. So we find things he cares about. Seriously... Our education system is failing our boys. As soon as he gets to school one of his teachers is going to recommend testing, medication. It ain't happening. We're considering co-ops or home school or something.
I recommend the book Boys Adrift
I have adhd that was diagnosed as an adult. The way I grew up, my parents didn't know what that was. I changed careers to something that better suited me and I won't take meds. I was fine in school and always did well bc it was something my parents made me prioritize. The first hint I was struggling and my mom had me a tutor. I excel at everything I want to excel at work or otherwise. If I'm not interest I can't hold my attention on it for ***** It's a struggle, but it is what it is. I forced myself thru all of it and turned out fine.
Our 10 year old was recently diagnosed with ADD. We have been letting him do some work with a chiropractor who has worked with a lot of kids with ADD and had pretty good success (one being the son of a family friend of ours). Primary thing he is working on is strengthening the weak side of his brain through various exercises.
We are going to see if there is any improvement throughout the summer with the chiropractor and will consider medication if need be. We know a kid who has gone the medication route and seen drastic improvement. We also know a kid who tried medicine and the side effects were pretty bad so his parents took him off the medicine.
I think a lot of it is trial and error and talking to other parents who have and are going through the same thing with their kids so you can get their insight.
We are going to see if there is any improvement throughout the summer with the chiropractor and will consider medication if need be. We know a kid who has gone the medication route and seen drastic improvement. We also know a kid who tried medicine and the side effects were pretty bad so his parents took him off the medicine.
I think a lot of it is trial and error and talking to other parents who have and are going through the same thing with their kids so you can get their insight.
Genuinely curious, can you explain how a chiropractor is treating ADHD?
I can get more specific details from my wife since she has been to all of the appointments. Trust me, she and I were both skeptical about going to a chiropractor but good friends of ours used this guy so we figured we would give it a shot before moving on to medication.
Overall, he is doing lots of different exercises that help strengthen the weak side of his brain. There are some exercises he can do on his own at home while others are done at the chiropractor's office since it involves equipment of some sort.
We are just a few weeks into trying this method so the jury is still out. Seems to be helping him a little bit but time will tell. Like I said, we are open to the idea of medication but wanted to try the chiropractor first and see how that goes.
Overall, he is doing lots of different exercises that help strengthen the weak side of his brain. There are some exercises he can do on his own at home while others are done at the chiropractor's office since it involves equipment of some sort.
We are just a few weeks into trying this method so the jury is still out. Seems to be helping him a little bit but time will tell. Like I said, we are open to the idea of medication but wanted to try the chiropractor first and see how that goes.
I am 100% convinced that I am also undiagnosed. Hyper focused on things I'm interested in, not so much on others. School was absolute hell for me. Especially the little grades.
College was better because I could persue the things I was interested in.
Boys, in general, need to burn off energy. A lot of it. Kids barely do chores anymore and we've gotten rid of gym class and exercise. Then they get pumped full of processed foods and we wonder why they "fidgit"....
I would add to what was said above. Meds are a last resort. I honestly believe that diet and exersize help a lot & the educational system is not set up for boys with a lot of engergy.
College was better because I could persue the things I was interested in.
Boys, in general, need to burn off energy. A lot of it. Kids barely do chores anymore and we've gotten rid of gym class and exercise. Then they get pumped full of processed foods and we wonder why they "fidgit"....
I would add to what was said above. Meds are a last resort. I honestly believe that diet and exersize help a lot & the educational system is not set up for boys with a lot of engergy.
I'm not a fan of home schooling but hear about alternative education routes for kids with ADHD. Had anyone tried one of the specialized charter schools?
Im having a boy in the near future and am terrified of this.
Im having a boy in the near future and am terrified of this.
“There is no red.
There is no blue.
There is the state.
And there is you.”
“As government expands, Liberty contracts” - R. Reagan
There is no blue.
There is the state.
And there is you.”
“As government expands, Liberty contracts” - R. Reagan
Why?Pepper Brooks said:
I'm not a fan of home schooling but hear about alternative education routes for kids with ADHD. Had anyone tried one of the specialized charter schools?
Im having a boy in the near future and am terrified of this.
Here's my 2 cents, for whatever that's worth:
ADHD is real. Stimulants work well to alleviate symptoms.
A lot of children are on stimulants that should not be.
A lot of children are not on them who should be.
Your child's situation is unique and so should his treatment plan be. The first question to answer is not how "hyper" he is but rather is there academic and social dysfunction. Some kids are hyper but make grades and are able to follow age appropriate games and social interactions.
In order to reduce errors in diagnosis, I almost always require the family to get a psychological and education profile. It can be expensive but it's "less costly" then putting a child on stimulants "to see what happens ". I have picked up quite a few children with mild intellectual deficits and/or learning disabilities who would benefit greatly from early academic interventions. Additionally, some children have anxiety or other psychiatric diagnoses at the cause of the behavior. They need therapy, not medications.
Social dysfunction is another critical clue. If a child can pay attention at soccer practice but not at school, they probably just hate school. Often times, ADHD children will need constant redirecting from a coach and begin to struggle as age and game tactics become more complicated. They will often begin to irritate their peers because they keep messing up, are loud and interrupt, and won't follow rules in games they are trying to play. This can lead to them being left out and ridiculed (hence, social dysfunction).
Our middle son has always had ADHD symptoms but was smart enough to make good grades, had lots of friends, and was a great athlete. My wife and I just put up with his poor organization and would give him frequent reminders. In middle school his grade's started dropping and his play time was getting reduced because he was often out of position and wouldn't follow all the instructions at practice/games. The final straw was it started affecting his self esteem because he knew he could do better. We started him stimulants and went from a B/C student back to a straight A student. He started earning more playing time and overall frustration level went way down. More importantly though, was the pride he felt in the accomplishments and achievements he was starting to have.
The best analogy I could give you is this: At what point would you give Tylenol to your child for fever? 99.9? 100.4? 104? A temp of 99.9 is not fever so despite what the grandma says, there is no reason to do so. If 104, you probably want to give Tylenol and gets some interventions in place. Anything in between, well that's specific to your child and the current situation. Are things improving or deteriorating with the cool wash rag and noodle soup? If not, that's when maybe it's time to start the Tylenol.
ADHD is real. Stimulants work well to alleviate symptoms.
A lot of children are on stimulants that should not be.
A lot of children are not on them who should be.
Your child's situation is unique and so should his treatment plan be. The first question to answer is not how "hyper" he is but rather is there academic and social dysfunction. Some kids are hyper but make grades and are able to follow age appropriate games and social interactions.
In order to reduce errors in diagnosis, I almost always require the family to get a psychological and education profile. It can be expensive but it's "less costly" then putting a child on stimulants "to see what happens ". I have picked up quite a few children with mild intellectual deficits and/or learning disabilities who would benefit greatly from early academic interventions. Additionally, some children have anxiety or other psychiatric diagnoses at the cause of the behavior. They need therapy, not medications.
Social dysfunction is another critical clue. If a child can pay attention at soccer practice but not at school, they probably just hate school. Often times, ADHD children will need constant redirecting from a coach and begin to struggle as age and game tactics become more complicated. They will often begin to irritate their peers because they keep messing up, are loud and interrupt, and won't follow rules in games they are trying to play. This can lead to them being left out and ridiculed (hence, social dysfunction).
Our middle son has always had ADHD symptoms but was smart enough to make good grades, had lots of friends, and was a great athlete. My wife and I just put up with his poor organization and would give him frequent reminders. In middle school his grade's started dropping and his play time was getting reduced because he was often out of position and wouldn't follow all the instructions at practice/games. The final straw was it started affecting his self esteem because he knew he could do better. We started him stimulants and went from a B/C student back to a straight A student. He started earning more playing time and overall frustration level went way down. More importantly though, was the pride he felt in the accomplishments and achievements he was starting to have.
The best analogy I could give you is this: At what point would you give Tylenol to your child for fever? 99.9? 100.4? 104? A temp of 99.9 is not fever so despite what the grandma says, there is no reason to do so. If 104, you probably want to give Tylenol and gets some interventions in place. Anything in between, well that's specific to your child and the current situation. Are things improving or deteriorating with the cool wash rag and noodle soup? If not, that's when maybe it's time to start the Tylenol.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
Good advice here.
Probably ignorance. It's based on interactions with a few homeschool kids growing up that we're very socially awkward.
“There is no red.
There is no blue.
There is the state.
And there is you.”
“As government expands, Liberty contracts” - R. Reagan
There is no blue.
There is the state.
And there is you.”
“As government expands, Liberty contracts” - R. Reagan
Geriatric Punk
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How long do you want to ignore this user?
Curious what career change you made
Fido95 is right on target. If you are seeing ADHD behaviors the standard evaluation is Vanderbilt scales from parents and teachers. DSM-V criteria is 6/9 of inattentive or hyperactive symptoms often or very often (2 or 3 on scale) PLUS academic impairment.
NICHQ Vanderbilt Assessment Scales
Even if you are against medication it is worth getting the evaluation to start a 504 plan at school for ADHD behavior modification.
I really don't get why parent's are so scared of a trial of medication. They certainly do have side effects and need to be closely monitored but they make a world of difference for nearly 90% of ADHD patients. It does take trial and error for most patients to find the right medication and dose.
I get a pre-treatment EKG prior to starting stimulants to rule out dangerous and rare arrythmias like WPW and Long QT syndrome.
NICHQ Vanderbilt Assessment Scales
Even if you are against medication it is worth getting the evaluation to start a 504 plan at school for ADHD behavior modification.
I really don't get why parent's are so scared of a trial of medication. They certainly do have side effects and need to be closely monitored but they make a world of difference for nearly 90% of ADHD patients. It does take trial and error for most patients to find the right medication and dose.
I get a pre-treatment EKG prior to starting stimulants to rule out dangerous and rare arrythmias like WPW and Long QT syndrome.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
My son just graduated (praise the Lord)! He was always a mover and wiggler, especially when working on academic tasks. He's super smart, as are most ADD kiddos, and always did well on tests. But getting him to focus during class, stay organized, and actually turn in his work was a struggle for all of school.
He was tested and diagnosed by a medical doctor in third grade. At that time we put a 504 plan in place so the school knew what we learned he needed to be the most successful. Honestly, 95% of the time we didn't need it because teachers are great and naturally worked with him. When he was little, they let him stand to work, move around between each question on intense work, etc I "used" the plan twice when grumpy teachers wanted him to fit in the same box as everyone else. I'm glad I had it in place.
In 8th grade he started medicine because school gets more serious then. It was trial and error because he was a year round athlete and the meds killed his appetite. We found a combination of short acting and long acting that worked for him. He only took meds for school - never at any other time.
His Junior year we put things in his hands. He could take his medicine or not, but if he started failing classes we would start making those decisions for him again. It wasn't perfect and he would rarely take the medicine. Honestly, he would get way behind and be in danger of failing because of a ton of zeros, then come home from school one day, take a dose a medicine, and get every assignment done within a couple of hours. It was stressful and frustrating for him and us, but he was in control of himself and figuring out what he needed to do. In hindsight, he never even failed a class until one six weeks of his senior year, and I blame senior-itis for that. He recovered with a B in that class when it was all said and done.
He got several marketable CTE certifications in high school and as a result has a good paying job for an 18 year old. He's currently working on exploring various trades to decide what he wants to do professionally. He is dead set on not going to any academic school because he just hated it. That may change once he has a chance to take a break from it, but we'll see. He's such a hard worker and so mechanically inclined he'll probably be taking care of us all some day!
TLDR - diagnosis and getting a 504 plan was a good idea for us. Testing can take a while so don't wait until you're desperate. The official diagnosis gives you options.
He was tested and diagnosed by a medical doctor in third grade. At that time we put a 504 plan in place so the school knew what we learned he needed to be the most successful. Honestly, 95% of the time we didn't need it because teachers are great and naturally worked with him. When he was little, they let him stand to work, move around between each question on intense work, etc I "used" the plan twice when grumpy teachers wanted him to fit in the same box as everyone else. I'm glad I had it in place.
In 8th grade he started medicine because school gets more serious then. It was trial and error because he was a year round athlete and the meds killed his appetite. We found a combination of short acting and long acting that worked for him. He only took meds for school - never at any other time.
His Junior year we put things in his hands. He could take his medicine or not, but if he started failing classes we would start making those decisions for him again. It wasn't perfect and he would rarely take the medicine. Honestly, he would get way behind and be in danger of failing because of a ton of zeros, then come home from school one day, take a dose a medicine, and get every assignment done within a couple of hours. It was stressful and frustrating for him and us, but he was in control of himself and figuring out what he needed to do. In hindsight, he never even failed a class until one six weeks of his senior year, and I blame senior-itis for that. He recovered with a B in that class when it was all said and done.
He got several marketable CTE certifications in high school and as a result has a good paying job for an 18 year old. He's currently working on exploring various trades to decide what he wants to do professionally. He is dead set on not going to any academic school because he just hated it. That may change once he has a chance to take a break from it, but we'll see. He's such a hard worker and so mechanically inclined he'll probably be taking care of us all some day!
TLDR - diagnosis and getting a 504 plan was a good idea for us. Testing can take a while so don't wait until you're desperate. The official diagnosis gives you options.
Summer Breeze said:
He was tested and diagnosed by a medical doctor in third grade. At that time we put a 504 plan in place so the school knew what we learned he needed to be the most successful. Honestly, 95% of the time we didn't need it because teachers are great and naturally worked with him. When he was little, they let him stand to work, move around between each question on intense work, etc I "used" the plan twice when grumpy teachers wanted him to fit in the same box as everyone else. I'm glad I had it in place.
this relates.
504 is why we did the testing. with most good or even average teachers, it may never be necessary. but there are some teachers out there that can absolutely destroy a kid's confidence and progress (socially and academically) in a very short time. 504 in place can help.
aggie_wes said:
Genuinely curious, can you explain how a chiropractor is treating ADHD?
This type of chiropractor is a Functional Neurologist. The book Disconnected Kids explains a lot. The best thing we ever did for my daughter was work with this type of chiropractor. The main thing he used was a program called Interactive Metronome. It took care of 90% of the ADHD symptoms within 3 months but we were VERY dedicated and diligent. The rest we have managed with other therapies and diet over time. It has been 3 years since we have even considered needing medication.
01agtx said:aggie_wes said:
Genuinely curious, can you explain how a chiropractor is treating ADHD?
This type of chiropractor is a Functional Neurologist. The book Disconnected Kids explains a lot. The best thing we ever did for my daughter was work with this type of chiropractor. The main thing he used was a program called Interactive Metronome. It took care of 90% of the ADHD symptoms within 3 months but we were VERY dedicated and diligent. The rest we have managed with other therapies and diet over time. It has been 3 years since we have even considered needing medication.
The name Interactive Metronome has sparked my curiousity and I deep dove into the research posted on their website....
Tell me more. I am likely calling this company in the morning and learning more. Utterly fascinating research and I've never thought of rhythm intelligence before.
Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention.
Would you email me, cryptohemp at gmail
This is anecdotal but if you have a son born in the summer, I'd recommend giving them an extra year before going to school. I've been teaching for 20+ years and when I see a young man that struggles with maturity/executive function, they were usually born May-August.
I'm an August boy and had to do "pre first" after kinder because I wasn't ready developmentally. It worked out great graduated top 10% of my medical school class.Ghost of Andrew Eaton said:
This is anecdotal but if you have a son born in the summer, I'd recommend giving them an extra year before going to school. I've been teaching for 20+ years and when I see a young man that struggles with maturity/executive function, they were usually born May-August.
I'm a big proponent of early grade repeating for summer boys.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
Have a 7yr old daughter that is showing lots of signs of having ADHD and Dysgraphia. Any advice/thoughts/tips are greatly appreciated as I have no idea about this world. Appreciate things folks have already said on this topic.
ADHD: A Hunter in a Farmer's World: Hartmann, Thom, Popkin, Michael: 9781620558980: Amazon.com: Books
I strongly recommend this book.
I strongly recommend this book.
I second the book Boys Adrift. It is a great read for parents of boys.
I also recommend Daniel Amen's book. Healing ADD Revised Edition: The Breakthrough Program that Allows You to See and Heal the 7 Types of ADD. He has some great insights into the different ways ADD presents and the variety of neural pathways that make different core brain issues present with the same symptoms.
I also recommend Daniel Amen's book. Healing ADD Revised Edition: The Breakthrough Program that Allows You to See and Heal the 7 Types of ADD. He has some great insights into the different ways ADD presents and the variety of neural pathways that make different core brain issues present with the same symptoms.
Glad I found this thread. My 6 year old boy is definitely struggling with ADHD. He struggles focusing at school as well as sports. Recently he's playing baseball and the coaches have to constantly stay on him to keep him engaged. He can't keep his emotions under control and is prone to fits whenever he gets frustrated.
Just downloaded that book and am trying to see what I can do first to be a better parent dealing with it.
Just downloaded that book and am trying to see what I can do first to be a better parent dealing with it.
I want to echo the comments from FIDO on this thread. Some of yall may remember some of the threads I posted on here asking for advise on my son.
My youngest son has been on ADHD meds (Focalin and Vyvance) since he was 4 (he's 5.5 now). I was against giving meds to him initially, but it really became a safety issue that required us to look into it. He's a July birthday, so we also held him back to give him time to mature.
He was asked to leave his Preschool because he just would not pay attention to his teacher and was constantly moving. Moved him to a second school and again, just not able to sit still. This new school has been amazing and worked hard with him. By the end of the first year, he was "managing", but it was clear it was going to be a struggle. He was also incredibly impulsive to the point where if you weren't holding his hands, he might take off running for no reason or pull fire alarms, etc.
We went to our pediatrician who recommended several things.
First, we did occupational therapy which did help. He needed to work on being comfortable in his body and had some mild sensory issues we were able to work through. Additionally we did theraplay to help with things like focusing and being comfortable in situations.
We capped that with the ADHD medicines and those have been a game changer. When he's on the meds, he's actually able to sit still for things like meals or church. When he's not on them, he's constantly moving, rolling, etc. We try to keep the dose as low as possible so he's not a zombie, but just enough that he can sit still when necessary.
I absolutely want him to be a normal boy and run wild, and when it's not 105 out, he's typically outside in the dirt...but we could also see the frustration in his own face when he just couldn't stop moving or stay focused on things.
The biggest downside is that it kills his appetite, which has left him underweight. We cram him full of food in the morning and evening and then he's off the meds on the weekend to really help him gain weight.
---------
And just as a contrast, my oldest is a typical boy. Wild and full of energy, but he can focus when necessary and listens to his teachers. Could we probably get him on meds if we wanted? Probably, but he can focus and do well in school/sports so I see no reason to start with him.
My youngest son has been on ADHD meds (Focalin and Vyvance) since he was 4 (he's 5.5 now). I was against giving meds to him initially, but it really became a safety issue that required us to look into it. He's a July birthday, so we also held him back to give him time to mature.
He was asked to leave his Preschool because he just would not pay attention to his teacher and was constantly moving. Moved him to a second school and again, just not able to sit still. This new school has been amazing and worked hard with him. By the end of the first year, he was "managing", but it was clear it was going to be a struggle. He was also incredibly impulsive to the point where if you weren't holding his hands, he might take off running for no reason or pull fire alarms, etc.
We went to our pediatrician who recommended several things.
First, we did occupational therapy which did help. He needed to work on being comfortable in his body and had some mild sensory issues we were able to work through. Additionally we did theraplay to help with things like focusing and being comfortable in situations.
We capped that with the ADHD medicines and those have been a game changer. When he's on the meds, he's actually able to sit still for things like meals or church. When he's not on them, he's constantly moving, rolling, etc. We try to keep the dose as low as possible so he's not a zombie, but just enough that he can sit still when necessary.
I absolutely want him to be a normal boy and run wild, and when it's not 105 out, he's typically outside in the dirt...but we could also see the frustration in his own face when he just couldn't stop moving or stay focused on things.
The biggest downside is that it kills his appetite, which has left him underweight. We cram him full of food in the morning and evening and then he's off the meds on the weekend to really help him gain weight.
---------
And just as a contrast, my oldest is a typical boy. Wild and full of energy, but he can focus when necessary and listens to his teachers. Could we probably get him on meds if we wanted? Probably, but he can focus and do well in school/sports so I see no reason to start with him.
For what is it worth, FIDO and Living hit the nail on the head in my opinion.
My oldest son is 9 and has been on ADHD meds for almost 2 years. He would struggle to listen, pay attention, follow directions, play with friends, and with emotional outbursts. We started with our pediatrician, then to occupational therapists. The evaluations came back with two results; ADHD and asymmetrical development. Effectively, he was/is developing intellectually much quicker than his maturity and emotional development. In first grade he was on a 6th grade reading level, but had the emotional maturity/development of a 4 year old. We finally started him on medicine when it was clear that our younger son (then 4) could take direction and complete tasks without having to hold his hand, but the older one couldn't.
Once the older one started meds, it was an instant night and day difference. He is able to focus, complete tasks, play with friends without issue, and control his emotions. He is much happier. He still struggles with a lack of maturity for his age, but that will come with time/age. Also, having a good group of friends around him is important. Kids will start to police each other, and he has been able to correct some of his behavior based on their reactions when he get out of line.
Keep up the good fight. Meds can be expensive, but can be a powerful tool in your child's development.
My oldest son is 9 and has been on ADHD meds for almost 2 years. He would struggle to listen, pay attention, follow directions, play with friends, and with emotional outbursts. We started with our pediatrician, then to occupational therapists. The evaluations came back with two results; ADHD and asymmetrical development. Effectively, he was/is developing intellectually much quicker than his maturity and emotional development. In first grade he was on a 6th grade reading level, but had the emotional maturity/development of a 4 year old. We finally started him on medicine when it was clear that our younger son (then 4) could take direction and complete tasks without having to hold his hand, but the older one couldn't.
Once the older one started meds, it was an instant night and day difference. He is able to focus, complete tasks, play with friends without issue, and control his emotions. He is much happier. He still struggles with a lack of maturity for his age, but that will come with time/age. Also, having a good group of friends around him is important. Kids will start to police each other, and he has been able to correct some of his behavior based on their reactions when he get out of line.
Keep up the good fight. Meds can be expensive, but can be a powerful tool in your child's development.
My wife and I have wondered if our daughter has ADHD or something going on for a while now, she's 8. Our pediatrician hasn't really been a help to us in that department though we've brought it up. We feel like we're at a breaking point with her to the point my wife is making an appointment with a psychiatrist. She never listens to us, she fights us on everything, even the most innocuous request is a battle with her. She leaves stuff all over the house, never puts anything away. At school she gets acceptable grades, by grades I mean she doesn't get a needs improvement, they for some reason don't give actual letter or number grades in second grade. But all her behavioral marks are now at a needs improvement, she used to be at about .500 in those categories.
She's stressing us out and giving us anxiety to the point where this house is unenjoyable to be in with her, and it breaks my heart as a parent to say that. We don't know what the deal is but I know I wasn't this way as a kid, my wife says she wasn't either. I don't know if this is something where she needs medication or not but we don't know what else to do. We tried therapy when she was younger but she pretty much just played in the office and wouldn't engage with the therapist. We are struggling and we can't tell if we're the problem or if she has something wrong with her. By nature I blame myself but I just can't tell why she acts like she does. If I behaved with my parents or talked to them like she does to us I would have been spanked to the point I could never sit down. I don't hit or spank her, after growing up how I did I just can't do it to her but she's pushed me to the brink on that stance because I don't know what to do. Literally no punishment results in different behavior, I don't think she has remorse for anything she does toward us. We're just so exhausted and tired of living in an uphappy household that we'll try anything including medication at this point.
Our plan for her this summer fell through so we're going to have her with us at the home pretty much all summer and we both work from home. If she can't be better I don't know how this all shakes out in the end, ugh.
She's stressing us out and giving us anxiety to the point where this house is unenjoyable to be in with her, and it breaks my heart as a parent to say that. We don't know what the deal is but I know I wasn't this way as a kid, my wife says she wasn't either. I don't know if this is something where she needs medication or not but we don't know what else to do. We tried therapy when she was younger but she pretty much just played in the office and wouldn't engage with the therapist. We are struggling and we can't tell if we're the problem or if she has something wrong with her. By nature I blame myself but I just can't tell why she acts like she does. If I behaved with my parents or talked to them like she does to us I would have been spanked to the point I could never sit down. I don't hit or spank her, after growing up how I did I just can't do it to her but she's pushed me to the brink on that stance because I don't know what to do. Literally no punishment results in different behavior, I don't think she has remorse for anything she does toward us. We're just so exhausted and tired of living in an uphappy household that we'll try anything including medication at this point.
Our plan for her this summer fell through so we're going to have her with us at the home pretty much all summer and we both work from home. If she can't be better I don't know how this all shakes out in the end, ugh.
Max Power said:
My wife and I have wondered if our daughter has ADHD or something going on for a while now, she's 8. Our pediatrician hasn't really been a help to us in that department though we've brought it up. We feel like we're at a breaking point with her to the point my wife is making an appointment with a psychiatrist. She never listens to us, she fights us on everything, even the most innocuous request is a battle with her. She leaves stuff all over the house, never puts anything away. At school she gets acceptable grades, by grades I mean she doesn't get a needs improvement, they for some reason don't give actual letter or number grades in second grade. But all her behavioral marks are now at a needs improvement, she used to be at about .500 in those categories.
She's stressing us out and giving us anxiety to the point where this house is unenjoyable to be in with her, and it breaks my heart as a parent to say that. We don't know what the deal is but I know I wasn't this way as a kid, my wife says she wasn't either. I don't know if this is something where she needs medication or not but we don't know what else to do. We tried therapy when she was younger but she pretty much just played in the office and wouldn't engage with the therapist. We are struggling and we can't tell if we're the problem or if she has something wrong with her. By nature I blame myself but I just can't tell why she acts like she does. If I behaved with my parents or talked to them like she does to us I would have been spanked to the point I could never sit down. I don't hit or spank her, after growing up how I did I just can't do it to her but she's pushed me to the brink on that stance because I don't know what to do. Literally no punishment results in different behavior, I don't think she has remorse for anything she does toward us. We're just so exhausted and tired of living in an uphappy household that we'll try anything including medication at this point.
Our plan for her this summer fell through so we're going to have her with us at the home pretty much all summer and we both work from home. If she can't be better I don't know how this all shakes out in the end, ugh.
Wow this hurt to read. I could have written every word of this, down to the therapy that doesn't actually help anything, the pointless defiance and the pain of not enjoying your child at all. My daughter is 11 1/2 and she was always a very hard child - defiant, messy and unable to focus. We finally got a referral to a psychiatrist about 2 years ago and started her on medication - currently Adderall XR 10 mg a day. It has not been a miracle but it's made a big difference. It's also helped as she's gotten older - she can talk about how the medicine makes her feel, which helps with dosing and taking breaks. Getting diagnosed with ADHD seemed to help her emotionally as well; now she knows that it's bigger than her willpower and that there are things she can do to help focus and behave. Before she would say she was just dumb and bad and that's was why she acted out, which was heartbreaking.
I would definitely share all of this with the psychiatrist and be open to both occupational therapy and medication. I was anti-medication for a long time because it scared me to think her brain was developing on speed, and I'm continuing to figure out what to do and trying new solutions, but the medicine really helped and still does. We did go through different doses and types (Vyvanse, etc). At 11 she is finally mostly fun to be around and is keeping her room cleaner, focused on dance classes (which she loves) and is getting more empathetic now that she's less defensive all the time. Grades are still a struggle (she's also dyslexic) but I'm much less worried about her, and more confident about her future.
Quote:
Wow this hurt to read. I could have written every word of this, down to the therapy that doesn't actually help anything, the pointless defiance and the pain of not enjoying your child at all. My daughter is 11 1/2 and she was always a very hard child - defiant, messy and unable to focus. We finally got a referral to a psychiatrist about 2 years ago and started her on medication - currently Adderall XR 10 mg a day. It has not been a miracle but it's made a big difference. It's also helped as she's gotten older - she can talk about how the medicine makes her feel, which helps with dosing and taking breaks. Getting diagnosed with ADHD seemed to help her emotionally as well; now she knows that it's bigger than her willpower and that there are things she can do to help focus and behave. Before she would say she was just dumb and bad and that's was why she acted out, which was heartbreaking.
I would definitely share all of this with the psychiatrist and be open to both occupational therapy and medication. I was anti-medication for a long time because it scared me to think her brain was developing on speed, and I'm continuing to figure out what to do and trying new solutions, but the medicine really helped and still does. We did go through different doses and types (Vyvanse, etc). At 11 she is finally mostly fun to be around and is keeping her room cleaner, focused on dance classes (which she loves) and is getting more empathetic now that she's less defensive all the time. Grades are still a struggle (she's also dyslexic) but I'm much less worried about her, and more confident about her future.
To me the biggest deal of all of this is we rarely have good days, it just always feels like I'm waiting on the bomb to hit. Last week I don't even remember what one of us told her, we were all sitting on the couch. I saw my daughter straight up say 'no' and hit my wife in the arm, it took everything I had to not get physical with her. I'm very protective of my wife, even with my 8 year old daughter so I was very close to crossing my own line. And she's also way more brazen in public with us or if we're with other people, it feels like she's doing way more than just testing our limits, it's outright disrespectful. She's also borderline codependent with my wife, she won't leave her alone, it's like she has to be touching her every minute of the day. And we're not talking about someone who isn't affectionate to our daughter, she is but my daughter just won't give her any space. I really worry about how our family is supposed to survive the summer with her home with us if there's not a massive change in her.
My daughter was so similar at that age. Still is to some extent, but especially when she was 7-9 she wanted to be with me all the time but wasn't very nice to me and it was brutal. I know I don't know you or your circumstances, but based on what you've said I would strongly recommend medication if your psychiatrist agrees. The best recommendation I can give us that my daughter says that it makes her head stop jangling so she can actually think before she acts. And she's not on it 24-7, after about a year we eased off quite a bit and she doesn't take it on weekends and days off . Last month she hardly took it at all but with STAAR testing coming up she thinks she needs it for school again. It's a tool, not a crutch, if prescribed correctly.
One other suggestion if your finances can take it is to to look at day care or camp this summer, even if just half day or 3 times a week. If she is on any meds by then it should help some of her behavior issues, and just getting her out of the house would be healthy for you all, especially your wife. And she'd probably have fun doing activities instead of being at home with 2 working parents (although I don't know your circumstances; disregard if this just doesn't work for you).
One other suggestion if your finances can take it is to to look at day care or camp this summer, even if just half day or 3 times a week. If she is on any meds by then it should help some of her behavior issues, and just getting her out of the house would be healthy for you all, especially your wife. And she'd probably have fun doing activities instead of being at home with 2 working parents (although I don't know your circumstances; disregard if this just doesn't work for you).
We have recently begun a trial run of meds for our almost 7 year old son who has struggled in school with his behavior. He has someone in his class 90 minutes a day to help stay on task and it has only made a marginal improvement. We didnt even tell the school we started the meds because we didnt want to bias them when evaluating his behavior.
He has had the best behavior this past month without any significant side effects. It has been a night and day difference. The first day he took it he immediately had a great day. He is very much the same kid and honestly seems happier. And we were very much against meds.
He has had the best behavior this past month without any significant side effects. It has been a night and day difference. The first day he took it he immediately had a great day. He is very much the same kid and honestly seems happier. And we were very much against meds.
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