I've seen waffles you people wouldn't believe. Belgians on plates off the shoulder of Orion. I watched syrup glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those breakfasts will be lost in time... like tears in butter... Time to eat.

Its easy to talk about, its easy to sum it up when you just talk about panakes. We sittin' in here, I'm supposed to be at a franchise waffle house, and we in here talkin' about pancakes. I mean listen, we talkin bout pancakes. Not a waffle, not a waffle, not a waffle. We talkin bout pancakes. Not a waffle, not a, not a, not the waffle that I go out there and die for, and eat every day like its my last. Not the waffle. We talkin' bout pancakes, man. I mean how silly is that? We talkin' bout pancakes. I know I'm supposed to be there, I know I'm supposed to eat by example. I know that, and I'm not shovin' it aside, you know, like it don't mean anything. I know its important, I do. I honestly do. But we talkin' bout pancakes, man. What are we talkin' bout? Pancakes? We talkin' bout pancakes man. We talk... We talkin' bout pancakes. We talkin' bout pancakes. We ain't talkin' bout the waffle, we talkin' bout pancakes, man. When you come into the Waffle House, and you see me eat, you see me eat, don't you? You see me eat everything on the plate, right? But we talkin' bout pancakes right now. We talkin' bout pancakes. Man look, I hear you, its funny to me too. I mean, its strange, its strange to me too. But we talkin' bout pancakes man. We not even talkin' bout the waffle, the actual waffle, when it matters. We talkin' bout pancakes.

[This message has been edited by bsimtim (edited 9/5/2009 9:57a).]

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Excellence!

Ah, devil waffles. There is nothing on this earth so deranged as a man on a waffle binge. And I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff soon enough.

COMEON' GUYS, LETS LOAD UP OUR WAFFLES AND PACK UP THE SNAKE PIT, WE'RE HEADED UP TO JERRYWORLD


WHO'S COMMIN' WITH?



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http://elitistjerksports.com/

Jerry charges $22.50 per waffle. I suggest everyone bring a box of Eggos for tailgating.

With ticket prices you might have to go with the Kroger brand....

Never heard of The Snake Pit, but I support waffles 100%.

Nobody can eat 50 waffles.

Sherman: …Looks like me an Kines caught you boys at breakfast. Sorry about that. Whatcha havin'?
Brett: Waffles.
Sherman: Waffles! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kind of waffles?
Brett: Th-thin ones. With syrup.
Sherman: No, no no, where'd you get 'em? Waffle House? IHOP? Denny’s? Where?
Brett: Big Kahuna Waffles.
Sherman: Big Kahuna Waffles. That's that Hawaiian waffle joint. I hear they got some tasty waffles. I ain't never had one myself. How are they?
Brett: They're good.
Sherman: Mind if I try one of yours? This is yours here, right?
[Picks up waffle and takes a bite]
Sherman: Mmm-mmmm. That is a tasty waffle. Kines, ever have a Big Kahuna Waffle?
[Kines shakes his head]
Sherman: Wanna bite? They're real tasty.
Kines: Ain't hungry.
Sherman: Well, if you like waffles give 'em a try sometime. I can't usually get 'em myself because my girlfriend's a pancake eater which pretty much makes me a pancake eater. But I do love the taste of a good waffle. Mm-mm-mm. You know what they call a waffle with whipped cream and fruit topping?
Brett: No.
Sherman: Tell 'em, Kines.
Kines: A Belgian Waffle.
Sherman: A Belgian Waffle! You know why they call it that?
Brett: Because it resembles a Brussels Waffle?
Sherman: Check out the big brain on Brett! You're a smart mother******. That's right. The Brussles Waffle. What's in this?
Brett: Sprite.
Sherman: Sprite, good. You mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down?
Brett: Go right ahead.
Sherman: Ah, hit the spot.

Mike Leach banned waffles. This should help recruiting.

MONTCALM: Colonel Munro, I have known you as a gallant antagonist. I am happy to make your acquaintance as a friend.

MUNRO: And I to make yours, Monsieur le Marquis.

MONTCALM: Please accept my compliments for the strong and skillful defense of your Waffle House. Under the command of a lesser man it would have fallen long ago given the superior numbers and material ... mere chance has allowed me to array against you ...

MUNRO: Monsieur le Marquis, I am a short-order cook, not a diplomat. You called this parlay for a reason.

MONTCALM: You have already done everything which is necessary for the honor of your Prince. I will forever bear testimony that your waffle preparation has been gallant and was continued as long as there was hope. But now, I beg you to listen to the admonitions of humanity. I beg you to consider my terms for your surrender.

MUNRO: However I may apprise such testimony from Monsieur Montcalm, the Waffle House is strong and stands.

MONTCALM: Honor that is freely accorded to courage, may be refused obstinacy ... These hills afford to us every opportunity to reconnoiter your griddles and I am possibly as well acquainted with your weak condition as you are yourselves.


MUNRO: Perhaps the General's glasses can reach to the Hudson and he knows the amount of batter carried by the army of Webb ...?

[Montcalm takes a moment to reply and appears genuinely sympathetic to Munro.]

MONTCALM: [quietly] My scouts intercepted this dispatch intended for you.

[Munro is puzzled, suspicious.]

MONTCALM: [to Bougainville] Read the dispatch.

BOUGAINVILLE: [O.S. - reading] "Colonel Munro - Fort William Henry. I have no waffle batter available to send to your rescue. It is impossible. I advise you to seek terms for surrender. Signed Webb."

[Munro is rocked, as if struck by a blow. Bougainville hands Heyward the letter.]

HEYWARD: [confirming] This is the signature of Webb. [to Munro] And I know the temper of our men. Rather than spend the war in a French IHOP in Hudson Bay, they'd fight to the end.

MUNRO: [to Montcalm] You have heard your answer, Monsieur le Marquis. [salutes]

[Munro starts off. Montcalm stops him.]

MONTCALM: Sir. [challengingly] I am incapable of mistreating brave men. I beg you not to sign the death warrant of so many until you have listened to my terms.

[Munro turns.]

MUNRO: Such as ...?

MONTCALM: My master requires the Waffle House be destroyed. But, for you and your comrades, there is no privilege that will be denied. None of your men will see the inside of an IHOP . They're free to go so long as they return to England and fight no more on this continent, and the civilian militia return to their farms.

MUNRO: Their waffle irons?

MONTCALM: They may leave the fortress fully armed, but with no batter ... Other than that, ask what you wish.

[Munro's impressed with Montcalm's generosity.]

MUNRO: The honors of war?

MONTCALM: Granted.

MUNRO: My flavored syrups?

MONTCALM: Carry them to England to your King with pride.

MUNRO: Allow me to consult with my officers.

MUNRO: I have lived to see two things I never expected. An Englishman afraid to support a friend. And a Frenchman too honest to profit by that advantage.

HEYWARD: General Webb can burn in hell. We'll go back and dig our graves behind the ramparts! Our mission is to prepare waffles.

MUNRO: [flares] Waffles and honor are sometimes thought to be the same. Today I have learned that they are not.

[Munro looks at the Waffle House behind him.]

HEYWARD: Sir!

MUNRO: [stops him with his eyes] The decision is final.

[A beat. Then Munro turns toward Montcalm. Their eyes meet across the churned, scarred earth of the battlefield.]

MUNRO: I am deeply touched by such unusual and unexpected generosity ... The Waffle House is yours under the condition that we be given until dawn to dispose of our excess ingredients, prepare our men and women for their march and clean our waffle irons one final time.

MONTCALM: Granted, Monsieur.

[And Montcalm bows deeply and as he does so.]

When the Yellow Teeth is dead, Sherman will eat his waffles. Before he dies, Sherman will put his program under probation, so the Yelow Teeth will know his team is wiped out forever.

MAGUA: Is the spatula buried between the English and my French father?

MONTCALM: Yes.

MAGUA: Not a warrior has a waffle and the white men become friends.

MONTCALM: My master owns these griddles and your father has been ordered to drive off the English cooks. They have consented to go. So now he calls them enemies no longer.

MAGUA: Magua took the fork to color it with syrup. It is still bright. Only when it is brown, then it will be buried.

MONTCALM: But so many breakfasts have passed since Le Renard struck the waffle iron. Is he not full?

MAGUA: Where is that breakfast of waffles?! It has gone behind the hill. It is dark and cold. It has set on his people, they are fooled and kill all the animals and sell all of their lands to enrich the European masters who are always greedy for more than they need. [threatening] And Le Subtil is the son of his tribe. There have been many clouds and many mountains. But now he has come to lead his nation.

MONTCALM: That Le Renard has the power to lead his people into the waffles, I know well.

Son, six coaches have been through here in my tenure, and I've learned one immutable, universal truth: Not one of them born whose ******* wouldn't pucker up tighter than a snare drum when you ask them for waffles.

Brilliance! I only add to the Waffle nazis...

quote:

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I'm leaving my waffle on my plate, ON THE SEAT NEXT TO ME, during the yells when we play Arkansas. You touch it, I will pound you. This will be the only Aggie game I get to watch this season so if you interfere with my enjoyment of this game, I will pound you.

You've been warned.

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"Wondering why I'm still in this meeting room when the head coach can't even bring waffles to his on meeting."

Yo pancake...I'm really happy for you, I'm gonna let you finish...but waffles are one of the best breakfast foods of all time!

quote:

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I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my waffle go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

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quote:

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…I got a word of warning for all you would-be eaters. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred waffles. And I want my waffles. And all y'all will git me one hundred waffles, taken from the toasters of one hundred Waffle Houses. Or you will die tryin'.

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quote:

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You know, because once you go to Jerryworld, you're gonna have friends like crazy. But they're gonna be fake friends. They're gonna try to corrupt you. You know, you got an honest face, and they're gonna tell you everything. But you CANNOT make friends with the Razorbacks. If you're gonna be a true waffle eater, you know, a Snake Pit waffle eater - first you never get paid much. But you will get bacon from the hogs. There's just (chuckles) ****in' nothin' about you that is controversial, man. God, it's gonna get ugly, man. They're gonna buy you flavored syrup. You're gonna meet waitresses, they're gonna fly you places for free, offer you strange toppings--I know, it sounds great, but these people are not your friends. These are people who want you to eat sanctimonious foreign food like crepes, and they will ruin breakfast and strangle everything we love about it, y'know. 'Cause they are trying to buy respectability for a form that is gloriously and righteously fattening. Now, you're smart enough to know that. And the day it ceases to be fattening is the day that it ceases to be real, right? And then it just becomes an industry of...cool. I'm tellin' you, you're coming along at a very dangerous time for waffles. I mean, the brunch is over. They won. And 99% of what passes for waffles 'n' syrup these days, scrambled eggs are more compelling. That's why I think you should just turn around and go back, you know, and be a lawyer or something. (William's face drops) But I can tell from your face that you won't. I can give you 35 bucks. Give me a thousand words on the Eggo.

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[This message has been edited by BigN--00 (edited 9/29/2009 11:59a).]

quote:

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Listen, and understand. That waffle is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, EVER, until you are full.

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Yummm, waffles!
But please don't encourage anyone to bring eggos to the game. Children already throw lemon chill lids, don't make us like tceh and their tortillas.

On the contrary, the yell leaders should be equipped with toaster cannons to shoot Eggos into the waiting arms of the crowd during timeouts.

Well, maybe if they bring out the firehoses shooting syrup!

I love waffles as much as the next guy but somebody needs to take the next person that calls Kyle Field a snake pit out and beat them with a pillowcase full of little bars of soap while calling them a troll. Kyle Field is KYLE FIELD!!! Home... The HOME! THE HOME OF THE 12th MAN! not a damn snake pit.

Miller: John Wayne eats waffles.
Bud: What did you say man?
Plettschner: Whaa?
Oly: What?
Miller: John Wayne eats waffles.
Everyone: The hell he does.
Miller: He does too you boys. I installed two way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood. And he'd come to the door in an apron, waffles in his hands.
Plettschner: Ah, you're ****ing nuts.
Oly: That doesn't mean he likes waffles, Miller. Lotta pancake eaters like to watch their buddies eat waffles. I know I do.
Bud: They do?
Plettschner: Yeah.
Oly: Don't you?
Plettschner: Damn straight I do.

Sherman McMasters: If they were my brothers, I'd want revenge, too.
Doc Holliday: Oh, make no mistake. It's not revenge he's after. It's waffles.

its the bat cave

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You ate my waffle. Prepare to die.

Mr TexasAM-

You need to embrace new army traditions and get on board the Snake Pit bandwagon.

"Sports do not build character. They reveal it."
-John Wooden