G.R.I.N.D.I.N.G.
7:07p, 7/27/14
It's the biggest week of UT news since signing day and ketch is going to spend all his energy talking about...A&M.
Makes sense. All you schlubs lurking here paying $9.95 are what keep causing Austin all-you-can-eat restaraunts to go out of business.
Makes sense. All you schlubs lurking here paying $9.95 are what keep causing Austin all-you-can-eat restaraunts to go out of business.
7:11p, 7/27/14
quote:
It's the biggest week of UT news since signing day and ketch is going to spend all his energy talking about...A&M.
Makes sense. All you schlubs lurking here paying $9.95 are what keep causing Austin all-you-can-eat restaraunts to go out of business.
This. F'ing this.
7:21p, 7/27/14
"Responding in fill " ? Freudian slip ? Thinking if filling the plate with brisket ? What a fat tub if goo ....
7:33p, 7/27/14
"Nothing will be left unsaid."
And consequences will never be the same, right fat man?
And consequences will never be the same, right fat man?
9:03p, 7/27/14
It'll take him several hours for editing. Removing all periods from the logical point a sentence would end, etc.
9:09p, 7/27/14
It's just a breath of fresh air to see an ethical, professional journalist reporting it just like it is.
Murrow.
Cronkite.
Koppel.
Fat Ketch.
Murrow.
Cronkite.
Koppel.
Fat Ketch.
11:01p, 7/27/14
quote:
You guys are going to have to forgive me for indulging myself this week.
Pray for all buffet owners within a 50 mile radius.
11:05p, 7/27/14
Ketch here is some advice...
quote:
If a band patient suddenly finds that they are vomiting all solids and liquids, vomiting saliva or having chest/abdominal pain that won’t go away, they need to be seen immediately. Large slips can cause the blood supply to the stomach below the band to be cut off and are a true surgical emergency!
11:06p, 7/27/14
That fat £¥€k needs to roll around on broken glass with a bisexual Haitian junkie. He is a hack. Do not give him the time of day. There are few people that I have less respect for. Screw him and his arrogance.
11:11p, 7/27/14
Ah sjit, ketch is gonna DEAL with people........
Welp, we're in trouble now.
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Welp, we're in trouble now.
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11:28p, 7/27/14
As expected, it contains zero substance
quote:
No. 5 - An anatomy of Aggie obsession and misplaced focus …
You may or may not have heard this about me before, but I have what some might call a special relationship with the fans of Texas A&M University.
Aggies.
You see, over the course of the last two decades, I've been the one member of the media that directly or indirectly covers their program that has shot straight with them through good times and bad. The issue with Aggies is that of all the fan bases in America, I've never met one that lives in such a state of insecurity that it never actually wants the truth.
It was more than a decade ago at the Texas State 7-on-7 Tournament when I ran into one of the most worshiped Aggies of them all, a guy that actually runs a successful Texas A&M online publication. While this particular reporter and I had experienced friction prior to this particular afternoon, a truce of sorts existed on this day and we actually seemed to enjoy each other's company for about 10 minutes.
At some point during the conversation we started to discuss the fan bases that we both covered and the conversation went something like this …
Me: "Man, I don't know that I could do what you do."
Him: (laughs) "Yeah."
Me: "Let me ask you something, do you really believe everything that you're reporting to them or is that just not something you can do?"
Him: (laughs) "Let me tell you something, if I didn't tell them what they wanted to hear from me, I wouldn't have a job. I'm sure you know what I mean."
Me: "Actually, I don't. I feel pretty strongly that the most important thing that my subscribers want out of me is the truth and honesty, whether it's good or bad."
Him: "Well, it's not like that here."
In over the decade or so that has passed since that conversation on one of those incredibly hot A&M intramural fields, nothing has ever so perfectly outlined the exact mentality of Aggies everywhere than that conversation with a person who almost certainly knows them better than anyone else on the planet.
So, as fate would have it, because I've been reporting online about both programs since 1996, I'm as much of an accurate historian of the program as anyone living today and that truth bugs the ever-living sheepskin out of all of them. Deep down after all of these years, my constant correct pegging of a window that stretched over a span of 17 years represents the only real honesty they've ever received.
When the dynamics between the programs started to shift in the mid- to late-90s in a way that left the Longhorns on higher ground in recruiting, I was the one that correctly pointed it out, but they forever put their collective heads into the sand.
When Mack Brown started to dominate R.C. Slocum in recruiting in a way that could never be reversed, I was the one that correctly pointed it out, but they just love that sand so much.
When their program remained an absolute also-ran for most of the first decade of the new millennium, I was there to correctly pointed it out, but man, oh man, that sand. It's everywhere in College Station.
When Dennis Franchione and Mike Sherman were completely inadequate for what the task of coaching successfully at A&M required, I was the one that correctly pointed it out long before their fans held the eventual uprising, but … MUST… PUT … HEAD … IN … SAND.
Years before A&M hired Kevin Sumlin, I constantly stated that the Aggies needed to create a game-changer by hiring the first black head coach at a major program in the history of the Lone Star State. As the idea of leaving the Big 12 for the SEC became a reality, I was there applauding the Aggies for daring to change their lot in life by daring to be great.
The reason those Aggies suffocated for more than a decade on all of that sand is because the only kind of truth they come out of the sand for is a truth that allows them to feel incredibly good about themselves … and for more than a decade most of the truths about their existence as football fans didn't exactly provide them that feeling, which leads to a certain kind of behavior that is so easily spotted that it's actually embarrassing.
They shoot the messenger. And insult him. And obsess over him. Rinse, wash and repeat for two decades.
Don't get me wrong, I've missed some A&M predictions over the years and Aggies everywhere still let me hear about it at every chance. For instance, I missed game on game predictions involving the two teams in 2006 and 2007 (never mind the fact that I correctly nailed the other 16 outcomes of games between the two teams from 1994-2011). You also might have seen countless times on my Twitter timeline that I forecasted a 6-6 record for the Aggies in their first season in the SEC, not knowing that Johnny Football would even be on the team after an off-season arrest (more on that in a second), let alone set the entire college football world on fire with his electric play. When it comes to the big picture with the Aggies, I'm pretty much undefeated in the last 20 years, but when denial is essentially the school's second nickname, the truth is more easily ignored in the name of a trivial misstep than it is accepted in any measure.
All of which brings us to today. The Aggies have an institutional control problem, as 19 arrests involving A&M football players have occurred in the last 25 months, a number that is so outlandish that it represents not only the largest number in the nation during the same time-span by a mile, but it ranks as one of the most impossibly bad achievements in the history of college football.
To give you a little perspective, the numbers from the last 25 months registers as nearly twice as large of a number as the amount of arrests the Miami Hurricanes absorbed in the entire decade of the 90s and is quickly chasing down the Urban Meyer Florida Gators (31 arrests from 2005-10), a program that pretty much ranks as the Babe Ruth of college football jailbirds .
At A&M's current pace, they'll have 66.5 arrests over the same time Meyer's program was setting the gold standard for program, which means that if getting arrested was a game, the Aggies would be leading the rest of the nation 55-3 in the second quarter.
For those keeping score, here's you roll-call: Johnny Manziel (6/12), Jordan Richmond (11/12), Kenneth Marshall (11/12), Kirby Ennis (2/13), DeShazor Everett (7/13), Floyd Raven (7/13), Kenneth Marshall (11/13), Darian Claiborne (12/13), Darian Claiborne (2/14), Isaiah Golden (2/14), Kenny Hill (3/14), Ricky Seals-Jones (4/13), Edward Pope (4/13), Howard Matthews (4/14), Gavin Stansbury (4/14), Isaiah Golden (6/14), Darian Claiborne (6/14) and Victor Davis (7/14). (Note: A&M fans have claimed that Jordan Points belongs on the list, but I cannot find anything online confirming that)
Inexplicably, as Texas players Kendall Sanders and Montrel Meander were charged with one of the most disgusting set of allegations in the history of the Longhorns program, Aggies started coming out of the woodwork on my Twitter feed in the name of distracting from the realities of their own lack of institutional control. When news of Friday's slew of UT dismissals over team violations took place, you'd have thought that the chain gang national championship earned over the previous two years had never even happened.
Actually, that's perfect Aggie head-in-the-sand logic. Only an Aggie would dismiss 19 arrests as a critically serious problem because of anything that could happen at another school. You might recognize it as a kissing cousin of the "I jumped of a bridge because someone else jumped off a bridge" line of critical thinking.
Just when you were thinking to yourself that even the Congress Street bats must be blushing at the bat**** craziness of it all, something absolutely inexplicable occurred.
As I surfed on my own message board on Thursday afternoon, a post popped up called "LOL aggie player suspect in robbery ...". It turns out that discussion on multiple message boards was taking place over a post that was made on ******** of the 247 Sports Network. As far as I could tell, 247 star Taylor Hamm was indicating that some sort of legal situation with an A&M player was taking place and all speculation was pointing to freshman wide receiver Speedy Noil.
My mind was absolutely blown. My first reaction was, "You have to be kidding me? Another one? And it's Noil of all people?" For those with shaky memories (Yes, I'm talking to the Aggies reading this right now), Noil hadn't been on campus five minutes earlier this year before he was in a car with two A&M players who were arrested for drug possession. Somehow the kid avoided the situation without so much as an MIP and now he was again in trouble with the law? Suddenly, my phone was buzzing with text messages with people asking me if I had any info on the story.
All I knew about the situation was that the information and original speculation had originated from an A&M website and surely this "reporter" wouldn't speculate about a potential arrest of a current player unless he was absolutely sure that something had actually happened. Surely, he wouldn't scream, "Fire!" in a crowded theater on his own board.
It was at this absolutely flabbergasted moment when I Tweeted the following (all Tweeted images are courtesy of my stalker GoodBullHunting):
Ketch-001
Let's beak down the three parts of the Tweet:
a. "Tell me that No.20 didn't already go down..."
I'm literally so dismayed at the idea of another A&M player arrest taking place before I could get an entry into the office pool that I'm begging someone to tell me it didn't really happen.
b. "good grief."
Seriously, if this was really No. 20, that projected 66.5 arrests number might jump up to 80. When is enough, enough?
c. "That was speedy...er... fast."
You see what I did there? It's called a pun and I created it in association with the name of the player that Aggies everywhere were discussing with Hamm's report. At best, I was sophomorically humorous and at worst I was a little bit of an *******, but let's make one thing clear … at no point did I ever specifically mention Speedy Noil's name in any Tweet. Using the word "speedy" is not the same as using the name "Speedy." One is an adjective and the other is a proper noun. It might seem like splitting hairs, unless correct context and use of the English language matters at all.
As you can imagine, Aggies everywhere went mad with misplaced blame because it makes a ton of sense to be more upset at an incredulously smart-ass Tweet than the epidemic of mug-shots that is defining the program more than the landmark win over Duke in the last bowl season.
Before long, word got out that the Bryan Police Department was going to put out a statement regarding the tsunami of speculation that was occurring, all of which seemed to include the Noil's name. Then the most inexplicable thing of all occurred … the Bryan PD confirmed that no A&M football players had been arrested on Thursday, which represents a pretty banner day regardless of circumstances for Kevin Sumlin and his coaching staff.
Immediately, my mind went to Hamm, as no bathroom full of recruits in the world would likely save his hide from a fan base that wakes up on a daily basis looking to boycott any perceived slight against their beloved university by 9 a.m. After nearly 20 years of witnessing their misplaced frustration up-close you would have thought I might have seen what would happen next coming from a mile away … but, I didn't.
THIS IS ALL KETCHUM'S FAULT!!!! HE USED THE WORD SPEEDY IN A SENTENCE!!!!!! HE REPORTED THAT SPEEDY NOIL HAD BEEN ARRESTED!!!!! GET HIM!!!!!! FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, that's right, the Aggies blamed me.
In fact, the enabling website GoodBullHunting went so far as to write an article, attempting to expose all of my sinister activity that clearly needed to be exposed.
GBSH writes: "Ketchum's tweets are in response to a Bryan Police Department search for aggravated robbery suspects, which was first publicized by Brent Zwerneman of the Houston Chronicle. This report led to rumors on Aggie message boards which Ketchum seemed to accept as fact without vetting any sources."
Translation: The genesis of this story originated from the reporting of the most respected A&M athletic reporter on the beat, was perpetuated by a moderator of an A&M online community and the Aggie fan-base reacted in such a way that the Bryan PD had to make a statement, but instead of focusing on how all of this could have happened in the first place, let's instead focus all of our energy on a random Tweet by the person you obsess over the most because … MUST … PUT … HEAD … IN … SAND.
In doing so, let's disingenuously showcase a couple of Ketch's tweets and a retort from Hamm on Twitter denying that anything was officially reported, while ignoring every piece of context behind the story and forgetting to include screenshots from Hamm's website or any other with maroon colors that might have actually caused the ruckus in the first place.
Also, let's examine the following charge: "Ketchum seemed to accept as fact without vetting any sources"
Dear Encyclopedia Brown, do you know why it only "seemed" as if I was assuming this information as fact without vetting any sources? It's because I wasn't sure. Hence the following piece of the Tweet that sent you into the foolishness you delved into: "Tell me that No.20 didn't already go down..."
No, I didn't "vet sources" before wondering aloud about what would be a 20th arrest in 25 months, practically threatening to break Meyer's arrest record at Florida in time for the holidays, because there were already reporters on the A&M beat saying things like, "We acknowledge that there is a legal situation playing out."
You just left that part out, which is why so much of this is apparently confusing to you.
In continuing to pretend that I'm the story of the day, GBSH then mentioned the "Code of Ethics" contract that I've stated numerous times each person in the Rivals Network must sign before reporting in the network. Essentially the contract says that those that work for Rivals/Yahoo aren't allowed to cheer at games , party in Vegas with the players we cover or (allegedly) involve ourselves in the recruiting process of student athletes in a way that might impact their actual recruitment … yanno … all the things that makes for an inspiring A&M reporter.
Why does GBSH bring up the "Rivals Code of Ethics?" Because in a world where right is left and down is up, my public pondering about the things that the Aggie World is discussing is a clear violation of sorts. What violation is actually occurring?
GBSH writes: "If the dangerous practice of identifying student-athletes in criminal investigations without any substantiation is not covered by the ethics code, perhaps it's time for an update."
Uhhhhh … no such thing ever occurred. At no point at any point in this story did I actually type anything that remotely says, "Texas A&M freshman wide receiver Speedy Noil is involved in a criminal investigation and is potentially in jail right now."
I never directly mentioned his name. I never indicated that I had any original information on the story. I never specifically mentioned charges or what it might involve. I never said that it would be "VERY significant" like some of the folks that actually triggered all of this discussion did. No, I used the word in the midst of a play on words, which doesn't actually do any of the things GBSH seems to think it does.
Let me explain this to the Aggies so that you understand clearly. Me using the word "speedy" (without capitalization, no less) in a sentence doesn't actually implicate Noil in a crime any more than using the word "hopeless" in a sentence specifically implicates that almost every Aggie reading this has evarned every joke ever written about them.
You can call me a smartass. You can say I have the wit of a 13-year old. What you cannot say is that I specifically implicated Speedy Noil's name in a crime because that simply is not what happened. The rules of the English language are on my side on this one.
But … but … but ... GBSH also points out that on my own website Orangebloods.com, I typed the following in response to someone's dismay over the rumors being spread from College Station: The kid can make 50+ million playing football if he stops being a idiot."
Ok, you just discovered my first real crime of the day. In responding to a post, I used the word "a" in a sentence when it needed to be "an" and that's pretty unforgiveable, even if it was almost certainly just a typo on a message board post. It was pretty idiotic of me, actually.
Speaking of the word "idiot," you could probably take exception to that word IF Noil hadn't already put his potentially immense future in jeopardy in February when he was involved in the whole situation that led to two A&M football players being arrested because of the presence of pot and alcohol in a car full of under-21s, which GBSH conveniently leaves out of his expose. Whether Thursday's ridiculousness is included in the conversation or not, Noil does need to stop doing idiotic things and I'm not the one that should be sending home this message, as he needs to be hearing it from the head coach that challenges himself to turn these men into some sort of public usefulness.
Finally, GBSH concludes: While we do not have specific details concerning the Bryan PD investigation, it is clear that Ketchum's assumption of an arrest was baseless.
Again, we live in a world where the creation of assumptions that are based on commentary and speculation from multiple reporters covering the subject matter and an entire A&M online community are baseless because … well … MUST … PUT … HEAD … IN … SAND. IT MUST BE KETCH'S FAULT!!!!!!!!
Ironically, the great hall monitor of the A&M Internet world has one small blind spot in the prism through which he views the entire world … the actual football program that he writes about. Do you want to know how many stories I found on GBSH.com focused on the epidemic of A&M arrests, the kind that would actually hold A&M head coach Kevin Sumlin even 2-percent responsible? You get one guess …
None.
The Aggies are in the midst of a string of arrests so chronic that even Barry Switzer is shaking his head in bewilderment and the focus is on me for either the second or third or fourth time this year (I lose track) over absolute nonsense that distracts from the harsh realities of the truth that surrounds them. You better believe the "dangerous" Geoff Ketchum is always under surveillance at all times, but Sumlin's increasingly concerning inability to install discipline in his program? You guys know the drill, already …
The only real truth in the end is that I continue to be the only person in existence daring enough to continuously challenge this failed misplaced group think for the better part of the last 20 years and continue to do so because I'm brave enough to have accepted that being a truth-teller means constantly running into minds that create nicknames for those that won't buy into the idea that illogical is logical just because. Frankly, I deserve a damn medal, but I don't do it for the glory as much as I do it because it needs to be done.
I suppose there is also one more truth out there …
If Aggies everywhere held Kevin Sumlin and his Aggie coaching staff within 1/10 of the accountability demanded of me at all times, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place because those 19 arrests in 25 months we're talking about wouldn't likely exist. Wait a minute, the Aggies never talk about those types of things.
Oh, those pesky codes of ethics, indeed.
11:33p, 7/27/14
I think he likes taking **** and hiding behind his "code." He truly believes that he's an "objective journalist."
What he really is, is fanboy who used to have access to the athletic department, and can do nothing now but try to trash us since he got cut off. He's a wannabe who hangs onto tu athletics because he's a fat*** who's also a never was. Ketch's sole reason for existence, and his life goal, is to sniff the jock of tu athletes because he's such a piece of **** that he couldn't be a janitor without riding someone else's coattails. He's a roadie. He's that stupid dork kid who hung out with all the cool kids in high school and let them make fun of him and make him their ***** just because he thought it would make him cool by association. He's a deluded sack of crap who would blow the entire tu football team in jersey order if he thought it would get him acceptance into the cool kid's group.
What he really is, is fanboy who used to have access to the athletic department, and can do nothing now but try to trash us since he got cut off. He's a wannabe who hangs onto tu athletics because he's a fat*** who's also a never was. Ketch's sole reason for existence, and his life goal, is to sniff the jock of tu athletes because he's such a piece of **** that he couldn't be a janitor without riding someone else's coattails. He's a roadie. He's that stupid dork kid who hung out with all the cool kids in high school and let them make fun of him and make him their ***** just because he thought it would make him cool by association. He's a deluded sack of crap who would blow the entire tu football team in jersey order if he thought it would get him acceptance into the cool kid's group.
11:35p, 7/27/14
Wow. TL;DR. It is amazing there is any room left in his brain to remind him to breathe. Aggiegisies are all up in his noggin. Clearly not enough was left to remind his gut that there were staples in his stomach...
11:41p, 7/27/14
He must not have any ribs because I'm pretty sure it'd be impossible to be that fat and suck your own **** that hard if you still had them.
11:44p, 7/27/14
quote:
At some point during the conversation we started to discuss the fan bases that we both covered and the conversation went something like this …
Me: "Man, I don't know that I could do what you do."
Him: (laughs) "Yeah."
Me: "Let me ask you something, do you really believe everything that you're reporting to them or is that just not something you can do?"
Him: (laughs) "Let me tell you something, if I didn't tell them what they wanted to hear from me, I wouldn't have a job. I'm sure you know what I mean."
Me: "Actually, I don't. I feel pretty strongly that the most important thing that my subscribers want out of me is the truth and honesty, whether it's good or bad."
Him: "Well, it's not like that here."
Actually could not read anything past this line of utter bull****. Cognitive dissonance is very strong with this one. Like I've said there should be a statue of ketch on our campus for his contributions to the utter destruction of the longhorn football program for precisely this reason.
11:44p, 7/27/14
quote:
Me: "Actually, I don't. I feel pretty strongly that the most important thing that my subscribers want out of me is the truth and honesty, whether it's good or bad."
Pretty sure I've read plenty from the last couple of years that'd make him either a liar, a damn poor evaluator, or both.
[This message has been edited by tom doniphon (edited 7/27/2014 10:45p).]
11:47p, 7/27/14
One is an adjective and one is a noun?
You don't really think anyone buys that for a millisecond, do you? And yes, we know you're reading this Bobcat Ketch.
And that's not even touching on the outright lies strewn about that sorry screed.
Payback is a mother****er Ketch.
You don't really think anyone buys that for a millisecond, do you? And yes, we know you're reading this Bobcat Ketch.
And that's not even touching on the outright lies strewn about that sorry screed.
Payback is a mother****er Ketch.
11:48p, 7/27/14
quote:
As the idea of leaving the Big 12 for the SEC became a reality, I was there applauding the Aggies for daring to change their lot in life by daring to be great.
Anyone care to provide some quotes?
Dude isn't a fan blinded by loyalty. He's just a straight up liar.
11:50p, 7/27/14
The best part is imagining that fat sack of **** giddy as a school girl, typing away with his sausage fingers to "get" the aggie fanbase. Don't let up, dude!